Leaving Home

For years I have been desperate to leave my small village in the West of England. I’ve been here for twenty seven years bar a three year period two hours away at University. I came back from Uni at twenty two and settled into a nice easy job and moved back in with my parents. At twenty four I moved in with my boyfriend, and now at twenty seven he is my ex-boyfriend and I find myself about to start the rest of my life.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is plenty to love here; fresh air, good friends, loving family, country pubs, lush countryside. Yet inside me is the desire to feel the rush and buzz of a big city like London. I yearn for adventure and to lead a life different from those around me. I want to breathe deeply and fill my lungs with the polluted air, travel nose to armpit on the overheated undergound and face the unfriendliness of Londoners after all these years filled with friendly West Country locals.

So today I have been packing up some boxes and deciding what I am taking with me to London. I’ve been back with Mum and Dad for seven weeks now which is about six weeks and six days too long. They treat me like I’m fifteen years old and the worst part of it is I act like I’m fifteen years old.

Mum and Dad will be driving me up to London on Saturday. I’m starting work as a live-in nanny which will be a new experience for me as my current position is live-out. I’m a little unsure of how it will go as I’m not used to being “at work” 24/7 even if I’m not on duty in the evenings and weekends. The family- the Daley-Todds- have a country house in Berkshire which they will go to most weekends, so they tell me. At least I should have a break from them when they are away. How posh they must be, they have a double-barrelled surname and a country residence!

Things I’m going to miss here:
Titus- my cute terrier
Abbie- my best friend
Mum and Dad- umm parents!
Toby and Jack- kids I have looked after for the last five years, both at school now

So, it seems I’m not going to miss too much here. I’m hoping I’ll be allowed visitors at the weekend so Abbie can come and stay. We’ll be able to go out in London. I’m sure that’ll be a far cry from our local towns with their quiz and karaoke nights.

Abbie asked me this morning,
“Will you WhatsApp me every day. In fact can you WhatsApp me at least fifteen times a day for the first month, just so I know you really are okay?” She looks at me desperately with those big brown eyes of hers.

We know each other inside out. Abbie is well aware I often sleep nine hours a night so she wants me to text her every hour that I am awake. I gave her a big cuddle after that.

I keep getting jitters where I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. Why would I leave my perfectly comfortable life here and risk it on moving to London? I don’t even really know many people in London. A few old friends from school and Uni are there but none I’m actually in contact with. I suppose I should connect with some of them on social media so I can go out some evenings and make new friends.

It does seem like the right time to be doing this. Toby and Jack are both at school now and don’t need me so much, their parents can juggle the school drop off and pick ups quite easily with their flexible work. I think they kept me on once Jack started full-time school more because I’m part of the furniture than because they needed me anymore. I’ve split up from my ex, we were in love first of all but then we grew apart. He’s a nice guy and I’ll always have a soft spot for him but we aren’t meant to be together. It’s time to move onwards and upwards. Or, as Buzz Lightyear would say in Toby’s favourite film, “To infinity, and beyond…..”


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